I apologize for not having written any additional posts over the past few weeks, but I have been deeply focused on my recovery. I also have not had the need for processing/catharsis of negative thoughts and feelings. This month and of course the beginnings of this year have been going spectacularly and the changes I've been implementing in my life have already been beginning to provide benefits. These benefits have been like dividends from a stock; I have been "reinvesting" these benefits into my recovery efforts, which in turn have given me more energy and gumption to spend towards healthy behaviors and decisions. I see it as being analogous to compound interest and expect these small advantages to grow on an exponential scale.
I have been trying to be conscientious in that this continued, positive growth might stagnate at times in the future or even have temporary declines due to negative life events, even just transient increases of post-acute withdrawal symptoms. So, I plan to make the most use out of these periods of higher motivation and be as prepared for the lulls in my drive as I can moving into the future.
I have extrapolated that the main overarching theme of my success this month has been setting goals and achieving those goals. But of course it goes much deeper than just setting goals; it has been equally important to set appropriate and relevant goals that help my recovery and therefore ameliorate my life. Additionally, I have found that having reasonable goals that can be accomplished on a short term have been beneficial to feeding my recovery in the present while I await the completion of intermediate and long term goals for the future.
There have been two main components of my short term goals; becoming more social and also focusing more on my self care. In terms of socialization, I have been becoming more involved in the local recovery community by volunteering at a local recovery focused cafe as well as attending events that are hosted by a recovery organization in the city I live in. Furthermore, I have been attending more self-help groups which have been mostly SMART Recovery meetings with some AA meetings mixed in. This has all been on top of having perfect attendance in my substance and mental health treatment, even going as far as to meet up with a few other peers from my substance intensive outpatient group for a walk on a local trail. I have had a tendency to socially isolate most of my life, particularly while in the throes of my addiction. While I have usually preferred this because it was easier and more comfortable to stay home and abuse substances instead of being vulnerable and allowing people in my life, it has not led to a healthy lifestyle.
Self care has always been something that I've either been really good at or really terrible at and the implications of either have had profound effects on my day to day life. Typically, my self care has been most poor during periods of heavy depression and/or heavy substance abuse. It seems like it usually is a case of the chicken or the egg; did the poor self care cause the depression and substance abuse or did the depression and substance abuse cause the poor self care? For me, it has been both and it turns into a negative cycle in which both things feed each other if I allow either to dip below a certain level. So, I have been being extremely diligent with my self care so that I can sustain growth in my recovery. I have been focusing on eating healthier, exercising more (by walking more instead of taking the bus and lifting weights), practicing better sleep hygiene, and doing several other things which people often forget to consider as self care such as going to all of your appointments, going to all of your random drug tests, and doing errands/chores.
I am hoping to put out another post very soon in which I detail some of my short and long term goals. I also would like to delve deeper into my history of mental illness and substance abuse, but I have been in a state of mindfulness and therefore probably will write more about the present and expectations of the near future as it pertains to my recovery.
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